Posts Tagged ‘sleep’

(circa 2000)

Several years ago I became worried I had contracted some weird skin disease. Every morning when I looked in the mirror, the face of the guy that stared back at me was covered with red specks. For a while I jokingly referred to them as “Morning Pox”. Then one day the red specks escalated to the top of my bald head.

“Tim,” the doctor began, delivering one of the most frighteningly common yet worthless diagnoses ever: “We can find absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. You’re as healthy as a young bull!

That same week I visited Mom in Florida, spending 14 days in the sunshine, blue skies, and resulting bliss, during which time symptoms of the dreaded Morning Pox disappeared completely. Dapper, tanned, and blemish-free, I returned home to where, the very next day Morning Pox resurfaced.

Thus began a progressive obsession of analyzing my lifestyle. Absolutely nothing was overlooked. I came up with — nothing. And then, one day, I discovered itsy-bitsy microscopic quill tips poking through the backing of my feather pillow cases. Could this be the source of the Morning Pox scourge?

Indeed it was.

I traced the onset of my affliction to the very day I had purchased several feather pillows ON SALE at Montgomery Wards. Seems like those CHEAP quills were incessantly piercing holes in my cherub-like complexion, night after night, while I tossed and turned in the shadowland of sleep.

Morning Pox went away the moment I threw out those cheap pillows and purchased a set of top-quality (and very expensive) goose down pillows from an over-priced, yet reputable dealer. It was worth the price.

The lesson I learned? (see link’s “# 1”) Don’t skimp on something you use every day for a full one-third of your life.

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Whenever I was having trouble sleeping as a child, my father would sit on the edge of my bed and recite the following poem:

“I’ll tell you a story
About David Corey,
Now my story’s begun…
I’ll tell you another
About his brother
Now my story’s done.”

After Dad left the bedroom, I would usually drift off to sleep quickly, my mind anesthetized inside that soft, protective cloud of circular logic.

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