I once had a girlfriend who convinced me to buy her an iguana. The critter started out as a cute green thing who sat happily atop his electronically heated $70 iguana “breeding” stone. The cage cost $130. The next day, as I watched the new pet stretch out for a limb that was propped in the corner of his cage, and while he pulled himself up on the branch, he reminded me of the cartoon character, George of the Jungle.
That’s how George got his name.
George was not a finicky eater, but after a year or two he could put away a quarter-pound of fresh broccoli in a single sitting. By then, his new cage cost $350.00, in which sat a much larger and expensive breeding stone. George didn’t move around much, which was fine by me, because on those rare occasions when my girlfriend allowed him to roam the household, I would often find claw marks on the antique furniture, and an assorted collection of broccoli-colored gifts on the carpet.
And then one day George the Iguana and my girlfriend were gone, along with his cage, my microwave oven and TV.
I still miss George.