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Archive for the ‘Simply Tim Recipes’ Category

Pond-raised, Fresh Water Mussels

I love seafood of all kinds, and am constantly amazed at the recent explosion of available seafood products made possible by globalization. A trip to the grocery store seafood cooler has now become a journey across the world.

Of all places, I found these packages of frozen mussels (imported from Chile) in a Wal-Mart Superstore. I had my doubts. I admit it. But when I got home and opened the package, I began to change my mind. Inside were two, separate, 1-pound vacuum-packed bags. Perfect for a single serving if you are a true seafood lover like me.

Cooking instructions are plain and simple. You can either boil an unopened package for 7 minutes, or microwave a vented bag on high for 4 – 6 minutes. I use the microwave method. 5 minutes works for me.

Do not over cook!

Be creative with sauces or not. I like my mussels plain, dribbled with lemon, or dipped in melted butter with a touch of garlic and an ample amount of chopped parsley. Last week I tried a batch of lemon-garlic mussels spooned over a nest of angel hair pasta drenched in mild tomato sauce with fresh basil and a quirt of fine malt vinegar.

There are tons of recipes on the net. Search for “mussel recipes” and hold on to your hats!

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FRIDAY FOOD THING

I am not much of a soup person. Just one of those things that passed me by while growing up. “Mmmmmm mmmmm good”  was never good enough. Until the other day when I saw a plastic can of Campbell’s Tuscan-Style Chicken & White Bean Soup with Asiago Cheese, Thyme & Rosemary premium soup sitting on the top shelf of my grocery store’s soup section. It was the “Asiago Cheese, Thyme & Rosemary” that got me. All favorites of mine. Okay, maybe it was the nifty plastic can.

Several days later I was watching an absolutely terrible movie on the Sy-Fi Channel (I hate that name WAY more than any of the SY-Fi movies) — something about bogus sharks, skimpy bikinis, teeth, blood, skimpy bikinis, summer break, stOOpid kids, skimpy bikinis, and a town mayor who refused to close the beaches. You know the one, similar to all the other dozens of bogus shark, skimpy bikini, teeth, blood, summer break, stOOpid kids, with a town mayor who refuses to close the beach movies out there.

So, there I was, watching this boring movie when out of nowhere I decided to jump up from my La-Z-Boy and raid my soup pantry, where — by golly! — the plastic can of Campbell’s Tuscan-Style Chicken & White Bean Soup with Asiago Cheese, Thyme & Rosemary soup was staring me in the face. I added a pinch of fresh basil, red pepper, and some grated, sharp cheddar cheese, and into the microwave it went. “Mmmmmm mmmmm good” never tasted so — good.

The bogus sharks, skimpy bikinis, teeth, blood, summer break, stOOpid kids, and a town mayor who refused to close the beaches movie still sucked.

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FRIDAY FOOD THING

I am somewhat of a persnickety coffee drinker. Recently, I have fallen under the spell of Dunkin’ Donut’s ground coffees. My favorites are “Dunkin’ Dark” and “Dunkin’ Turbo”. In fact, I like to blend them together or with “Dunkin Regular” as well. Trouble is, Dunkin’ grocery store coffees are $10.

Ouch.

Enter Luzianne, the famous Depression-Era coffee whose cheaper prices resulted from the inclusion of chicory. (I do NOT like chicory coffee!) Needless to say, cheaper coffee prices during the Great Depression were appreciated by a nation long-addicted to caffeine.  Many folks who drank Luzianne chicory coffee soon discovered they preferred the chicory-infused taste over the more expensive non-chicory coffee brands, perpetuating the success of Luzianne. To this day — as did I — most coffee drinkers still associate the brand name exclusively with chicory.

Until the other day.

Turns out, Luzianne offers an extensive, GREAT TASTING 100% premium Arabica  NON-chicory coffee product line, for about 6$. I gotta tell you, Luzianne “Medium Roast” coffee is quickly replacing my more-expensive Dunkin’ Donut brew for a lot le$$ money. (Luzianne Medium Roast blends quite well with my Dunkin’ mixtures, although Luzianne coffees — both their dark and medium roasts — have no problem standing on their own, the point of today’s FFT.)

Those Great Depression folks knew a good deal when they saw one.

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FRIDAY FOOD THING

Hog's Head Cheese

Today’s FRIDAY FOOD THING was going to be a leap of faith for me: a review of something I have never had before. Something I’ve been afraid to try. A Southern something called Souse. Something that’s often called Hogs Head Cheese. Souse sounds better, but it was not meant to be. When I got home from the grocery store, a bottle of wine and my package of souse was nowhere to be found. The only thing I can figure is the grocery store bagger must have put the wine and the souse on the bottom shelf of my shopping cart, where I neglected to look. The wine and the package of souse is probably still sitting in the parking lot cart caddy.

Well, the package of souse probably is…

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04/28/2012

Tim Says: Oh, oh. The ball’s a rolling. I just called a local butcher shop and can purchase a hog’s head for $8 plus tax. Sounds cheap to me! I asked if they could cut my head in half for me. They laughed. “I meant the hogs head!” “No!” they said. “That would tear up our saw.” I made a mental note. Haven’t stepped off the cliff yet. But now I know the cliff is there if I decide to leap.

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FRIDAY FOOD THING

It began many years ago when I realized taking pictures from a TV screen was easy if you had a digital camera. Just for fun, I began taking snapshots of outrageous television advertisements. Outrageous from the viewpoint of product reality: what they advertise vs. what we get.

I want one!

My first experience was a Burger King “Whopper” sandwich ad. I mean, have you EVER bought a “PERFECT WHOPPER” that looks like this one? Sesame seeds placed just so; exquisitely deposited dollops of ketchup and mayonnaise; thick onion slices to die for; perfectly arranged serrated pickles; Ginsu-sliced tomatoes and leafy lettuce straight from Martha Stewart’s garden?

Hell, I don’t want to EAT this burger — I want to frame it and hang it on my wall!

Which got me to thinking.

I printed the picture and carried it into my local BK. When my Whopper was delivered I opened the wrapper on the counter and asked for the manager. Yeah. I was a butt-head. I placed the ad picture I had taken next to the pathetic burger-thingy. “I want one that looks like THIS one!” I said, pointing to my picture.

Needless to say, I was not very popular with that particular BK establishment for a long time to come. Like — forever. Of course, I realized the burger-thingy’s shortcoming was not the manager’s fault, false advertising or not. And even though I received an extra burger or two, I went home to the internet and did a little “false advertising” research, where I discovered it is nearly impossible to get a “false advertising” conviction because of  little known legalese gobbledegook often referred to as “reasonable expectation”.

In the above link, the following excerpt pretty much sums it up: “An advertiser cannot be charged with liability with respect to every conceivable misconception, however outlandish, to which his representations might be subject among the foolish or feeble-minded.”

At least the bureaucrats who concocted the document did not exclude themselves from the folks they are trying to confuse.

Today’s FFT is not about the Whopper, however.  It is about “Mrs. Paul’s frozen, 100% WHOLE FILLETS — Beer Batter Fillets”. Man, does that picture on the box look terrific — or does it? When I got the package home, I noticed a tiny, unobtrusive bit of text on the bottom right corner of the box: “ENLARGED TO SHOW QUALITY”.

"Enlarged to Show Quality" Perception vs. Reality: the REAL fillet is to the right.

Do those advertising folks know how to gobbledegook us foolish and feeble minded folks or what?

BTW, the 4-inch long fillets tasted “okay”.

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FRIDAY FOOD THING

What a Joke -- no, No, NO!

I was going to tell you about “Dockside Classics” Premium CRAB CAKES”, and how great a disappointment they were, and how their packaging was misleading with fantastic images that were not representational of what the product REALLY looked like, and how, instead of lumps of crabmeat like the packaging indicated, the texture was more like ground up cornmeal pudding, and how — although the package said “Made with Real Crabmeat” – the second mystery ingredient was something called “Crab Surimi (?) that turned out to be nothing more than ground up “Alaskan Pollock and/or Whiting”, and how MSG and a host of other unpronounceable and undesirable ingredients were hidden in there, and how terrible “Dockside Classics” Premium CRAB CAKES tasted, but I won’t bother. Stick with SeaPak Crab Cakes!

Instead, I’m going to tell you about a stupid simple Spanish Rice recipe I came up with that tastes like a million bucks:

  • 1, 16-oz can chicken broth,
  • 1, 8-oz can of “RO*TEL ZESTY Tomato & Green Chili” (mild)
  • 1/2 small red onion, chopped
  • 4-5 pieces cooked crispy bacon, chopped
  • 1-1/2 (+ 1 clenched handful) cups non-sticky converted rice

Combine everything in a microwavable bowl, cover with commercial grade plastic wrap, and nuke at 60% for about 22 minutes, or until all liquid is absorbed. If you happen to have a small tomato handy, chop it up and throw it in there.

Doesn’t get any better that that.

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FRIDAY FOOD THING

Grocery lists only work when you remember to take them shopping with you. Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done. That’s why I’ve begun using “Super Sticky” Post-it pads. The glue is so strong that half a pad can be adhered directly to my refrigerator door, or any smooth surface. Stuck right next to my refrigerator door Post-it pad is a pencil clamped in one of those magnet clips. When my second-to-last box of pasta gets dumped into a pot of boiling water, right over to the fridge I march, and “spaghetti pasta” gets written down on the Post-it pad.

Form follows function. Poetry in motion.

When I go shopping, all I have to do is peel off the top sheet before heading off to the store. As a matter of fact, I have two different pads stuck on my refrigerator. Two different colors — one for the grocery store, and one for the hardware store or other serious in-town shopping.

When I get to the store, I stick that super sticky grocery list right on my shopping cart’s handle, where I use a pen to scratch off items while I fill up my cart. How cool is that?

I even have a Super Sticky Post-it pad adhered to the inside of my front door, along with an accompanying pencil-on-a-string:

“Take out the trash!”

“Don’t forget the SHOPPING LIST!”

Sometimes I’m so clever it hurts.

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FRIDAY FOOD THING

From time to time my body speaks to me. “Tim, don’t fall out of this tree; Tim, get off the top step on the ladder; Tim, turn the razor blade box cutter AWAY from you; Tim, eat some salad. Now.”

"Tim, eat some salad. Now."

So, I have been directed to pursue a salad binge, one that I am enjoying: give me a decent tomato, some leafy bits of salad greens, a sweet onion, virgin olive oil, Pompeian red wine vinegar, sweet basil, fresh oregano, a crumbled hard-boiled egg, maybe some exotic cheese, and I’m good to go.

I can eat salads all day long.

As a matter of fact, I just finished a large bowl of something similar to the salad mentioned above. Okay, forget the exotic cheese. (I’m all out of exotic cheeses.) Forget those little greenie thingies placed just so.  And, I ate my last hard-boiled egg yesterday.

Now, I’m going to enjoy a small bowl of Breyers Chocolate Crackle ice cream. Sometimes, the refrigerator speaks to me, too.

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FRIDAY FOOD THING

Having lived in Maryland for more than a decade before moving to North Carolina, I have come to appreciate a decent crab cake. Of course, no crab cake can compare to one you make yourself using fresh, jumbo lump crab meat and a good Maryland recipe. (Never, ever, use “pasteurized” crab meat, which is tantamount — in my opinion — to using synthetic, FAKE “Krab” meat type products.)

What a surprise!

While grocery shopping the other day, I noticed SeaPak Maryland Style Crab Cakes sitting in the frozen fish freezers, on sale, “2 for 1″. Apparently, SeaPak Maryland Style Crab Cakes are normally priced in the 6-7$ range, and had they not been on sale for half-off, I would have passed them by like I have for years, because — after all — no crab cake can compare to one you make yourself using fresh, lump crab meat and a good Maryland recipe.

I decided to give them a try.

I prefer crab cakes fried over medium heat in 75% butter/ 25% olive oil until both sides are brown and crispy, served with a slice of lemon. (Some folks prefer theirs less crispy.) Directions were simple and straight forward.

What a surprise! Although I can make better, I plopped down in front of my TV and could ALMOST fool myself in believing I was back in a Maryland sports bar enjoying crab cakes with my friends.

To be fair, I have to point out that the SeaPak Maryland Style Crab Cake recipe uses a tad too much mayonnaise, but not enough to be a show stopper. In the future, from time to time, I will have no problem buying a box of SeaPak Maryland Style Crab Cakes at non-sales pricing.

Just for a treat.

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Tim says: I found this post in my earliest archives. It is Recipe du Jour’s very first “FRIDAY FOOD THING”. Probably circa, 1998. I laughed so hard when I rediscovered it, I just HAD to post it again.

I think you will agree, FRIDAY FOOD THING has come a LONG way since then…

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Husband: “The two best things I cook are meat loaf and roast chicken…”

Wife (peering at her dinner plate): “So, give me a hint — which one is this?”

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